Sunday, October 19, 2008

Slaying My Demons


“You gain strength, courage and confidence
by every experience in which you really
stop to look fear in the face . .
Do the thing you think
You cannot do.”
Eleanor Roosevelt


This quote has been reverberating through my mind lately. Every time that I cower at the mention of a new skill that I must acquire----every time I tell myself I cannot possibly accomplish what is expected of me----every time I feel that I am not equal to the task at hand, I think of Eleanor Roosevelt and this quote that is indelibly written within the recesses of my brain.

I don’t know if I can meet the challenges of teaching . . .but I can learn. I can learn and I will therefore conquer my fear of teaching.

Although I do not come from a teaching background and the concepts of learning styles and constructivism were new to me I will prevail. Once I took the DVC inventory and learned more about constructivism, I started to innately realize how important they were to learning both on ground and online.

My curiosity was piqued by the different styles and the importance and difficulty of trying to accommodate them in an online learning environment. I quickly realized how difficult it is to create a balance of learning style opportunities that would successfully attract and hold the interest of different learners. I also realized that one had to be reticent of your own learning style so that you do not overshadow your online class with your own preferences in learning.

I had also never thought about instructors having different teaching styles. It seemed like teachers were divided into two camps-good or bad, before I learned that there were different types of teaching styles. I didn’t consider the fact that different teaching styles might not be well suited to different students and their preferences for learning. Some students might prefer a delegator while others prefer their instructor to be primarily an expert to be comfortable.

I came to appreciate through all of our topical discussions that creating a successful online learning environment would be arduous and very time consuming. I also now know that it will be a matter of trial and error. I also know that it will ultimately be an original conceptual design melded by the learners. A good class must have a good solid structure, but it must also be able to incorporate some flexibility to accommodate customization for that particular class blend and the particular chemistry of each group of learners.

I appreciate the fact that the instructor must make the learning environment as comfortable and devoid of foreboding aspects as possible. I realized that a good instructor must have an introductory activity that will engage and encourage students to be self-assured and to become one in the learning environment. He/she must be available for communication daily during the term, so that students do not become discouraged or feel isolated in an online class experience. He must also constantly be measuring the cadence of the class to make sure that he has not fallen out of step with their immediate wants and needs.

I also realized that it was possible to successfully create a small working group of students who can come from totally different academic backgrounds and through the use of online communication mediums like cyber chat rooms and discussion boards meld them into a functioning unit that create a very viable learning tool through cooperation and open communication. I, also, appreciated all of the other groups and the many web sources that I was able to glean from their excellent group presentations.

I appreciated once again the value of an online presentation with an open question and answer platform as I enjoyed the valuable information that Ms. Martin imparted to us about being an online instructor. I was buoyed by the fact that she had not had an on ground teaching background and had even considered that this factor had perhaps been an asset for her as she came to the medium with no preconceived ideas.

I was pleased to hear that as someone who lacked a lot of experience in on ground instruction, I, too, could potentially make lemonade out of what I had previously perceived as lemons. I had been grappling with my shortcomings as I read the experiences of my seasoned classmates and Ms. Martin gave me encouragement to continue to bring my own unique voice to the table.

I also learned how to successfully create a blog. Granted I have a great deal more to learn about bringing this tool to life, but I am enjoying the process. I have already started a blog for our students. At this point, it is just a place for them to find event information, find new vocabulary words, explore interesting new reads, try valuable research websites, express their ideas about past activities and workshops and suggest new activities. However, I will continue to work to improve the content every month, and I am very pleased by the response we have already had from our students and the staff. It has the potential to be another useful communication tool between staff and students.

I have enjoyed reading the vast range of ideas that each student has brought to the dance as we communicate on the discussion boards. It is comforting to hear that others are experiencing the same trials and tribulations that I am.

I have once again been humbled by technology. It can be a valued friend and an unrelenting foe and one must learn to ride the ebbs and flows of the waves and refuse to give in to the foibles that occur. It is damning when you cannot figure the problem out, but it feels so exhilarating when you finally breakthrough, solve the puzzle yourself and can move forward.

Finally we have just started to explore the use of e-portfolios. This is the first time that I have been introduced to this online tool. I can already see some of the possible uses of this new compiler of knowledge and experience. I am once again hesitant as we begin our foray into electronic portfolios. I have already been bolstered by reading about the same fears expressed by my colleagues.

With each new concept, I wonder how I will choose to add that element to my own online class. How will I infuse activities to create camaraderie? Will I be able to touch the minds and hearts of my online learners in this high tech environment? How will I use the group learning concept? How will I assuage the fears of novice online learners? How will I use the chat room, the discussion boards, graphics, audio, video, etc., etc.?

I am comforted by the fact that I have also had my love of online learning expanded. I have always loved the concept and the possibilities, but I have now come to appreciate the vast difference between a well designed web course and a transplanted version of an on ground course that has literally been “plopped” online.

I have taken quite a few online classes and have seen an evolution in the online class environment from a foggy, gray environment consisting mostly of merely taking online exams, submitting online papers and watching uninspired Powerpoint presentations to a much more vivid landscape where live presentations and open live communication have become commonplace.

I also know that a new medium does not go from infancy to maturity overnight. It was a long journey from the first home telephone communication to today’s cell phones. Although I think technology is moving far more rapidly because of our improved means of human communication, I believe that unbelievable advances are always going to be lurking right around the next corner.

I know that no learning environment is best for every student and there will always be room for a variety of venues, however, I am excited to think about the potential scale of this medium. I am excited about the number of human beings who can be reached and the barriers both physical and psychological that can be breached. I am excited to watch things evolve, but most importantly, I am excited about the potential to be a part of this cyber wave into the future. I am excited to continue learning.

I am ruminating over all of this on this crisp Sunday morning as I contemplate what I have already learned in this class. Queries still pervade my consciousness, can I successfully do this, understand that----the questions whiz like a ticker tape through my brain.

More than anything I know I must fortify myself with the thing I am confident I can do---I can learn. And then I must listen to Eleanor’s wisdom, look fear in the face and continue undaunted, “to do the thing I think I cannot do”.

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